The Doctor is IN

K:  now my ears are kind of plugged and ringing

 me:  OH NO!!

that's a really bad sign!!

I think you have an inner ear infection

Do you know what you need to do?

 K:  they're not ringing a lot.. they stopped

no

 me:  You need to go home immediately

 K:  haha

 me:  find a bunch of newspaper

roll it up really tight

light one end on fire and stick the other end in your ear

while you repeatedly chant

"rubber baby bumpers"

for an hour

you better leave NOW!

 K:  

haha

wow!

 me:  yeah

it's serious

if that doesn't work

do you know what you need to do?

You'll need to find the closest body of water

a pool, the ocean, a bathtub, even the sink!!

and hold your bare elbows in the water for at least 2 hours

you'll know your better when you start to hear what sounds like walnuts cracking in your ears

 K:  i seeeeeee

 me:  that means the cerebral crust that was created by the infection has been softened enough to puncture

you may experience a little dizziness at first

but that's just the cerebral crust disseminating

and if THAT doesn't work do you know what you need to do?

Start planning the funeral because there's nothing more that can be done...

 K:  oh man

this is serious

 me:  If you want, I can throw together  a quick epitaph for you headstone

I'm good at those

It could go something like this:

"Here lies our dear American Katerina.

Captain of many fleets,

A brave firefighter,

and regular dog rescuer.

She will be missed dearly."

I'm good at eulogies too,

but when certain life events can be foretold

I'm forced to charge a small fee...

Nothing personal

you understand, don't you?

 Sent at 4:13 PM on Monday

 K:  hahahahahaha

i'm glad u care enough

 me:  of course

so you run home and get on those remedies before...

well...

ya know.

 K:  i guess i better

 Sent at 4:17 PM on Monday

 K:  it'll prob take me about 10 mins to get everything together

before i go

in case, you know, i end up not coming back

 me:  THIS IS LIFE AND DEATH!!

K:  

YEA

 Sent at 4:20 PM on Monday

 K:  if i survive..

i'll let u know which movies look interesting

and when they play

and u can pick

 me:  egg-cellent

 Sent at 4:24 PM on Monday

 K:  see ya tomorrow!!!

i hope..

 me:  hahaah!!

bye!

God Speed!